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Ben Vollmer

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Never Insult Seven People when all you have is a Six Shooter..
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October 27

Bought a Legend

Bought a Ture Legend... After drooling over a car for almost 20 years and studying every magazine it has been in for as long as I can remember, I managed to stumble into a heck of a deal. I just bought a 1988 Acura Legend for the sound off circuit. While not perfect, it is in AWESOME shape. :-)

 

More photos to come. :-)

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http://el9wtw.blu.livefilestore.com/y1pZA8W8_83gV8PwtIWWXQ3Hb0yVEdO61aP6ThuWUbjhTWTkojzjPY2NqdTJgqdlYbgNkpAWm81wibFmFnNSnEvrQ

June 22

The Hypnotist

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.
Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance;  I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my
family for six generations"

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,"Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.

"CRAP" said the Hypnotist

It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.

April 17

Elephant Story

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
 
The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
 
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
 
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.  Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
 
Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teen-aged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over near to where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that  several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
 
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
 
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
 
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
August 02

This Rocks!!!

 Ok... So I am on vacation in upstate NY hanging out at the parents place while they vacation. My Dad's PC is misbehaving.. IE is slow, unresponsive, etc... So we start doing a little digging... It turns out that they brain trust of Frontier had him disable his software firewall and removed his hardware firewall from between his PC and the internet... (Dumb People) So Dad just left it disconnected...

That and his copy of Nortion Internet Security expired before my son was born...

 

After playing for a few minutes, we used my BETA copy of OneCare on his machine... Man is that cool... Got rid of all of his viruses, manages his firewall and keeps his machine monitored. If you have parents or the like who don't feel as geeky as you are, this program rocks for them... Free during beta... Check it out...

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Windows OneCare Live - Home
August 01

Right Coast Cars

Went to an IASCA National event on Sat... www.rightcoastcars.com
 
Soon to be selling my McIntosh Head Unit. Placed 2nd out of 4 cars in the 601+ class.
 
Stupid Head Unit shifts the imaging from left to right depending on mood... Height went from high to low...
 
But scored 100% in the install portion... Working on my install book now... Gord docked me from 5 to 4 for not having it printed...
 
Will be spending the rest of the week hanging out at the lake.
April 26

Update on Audi...

I think my car is on the way back... Called Benchmark yesterday... The front seats are back in the car, the dash is back in the car... They laughed at my monster hint of a pack of batteries... Still no pictures... But one can hope... :-)

 
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